My Top Ten Christmas Films

 I’ve noticed there is a regular discussion on various forms of media about whether Die Hard is a Christmas film or not. This all seems to be based on whether a film set in Christmas, as opposed to being about Christmas, is a bona fide Christmas film.

Frankly, I couldn’t care less if a film has snow, Santa or is some shite from Raymond Briggs as I have my own way of rating Christmas films. In my mind, something that I’ve seen for the first time reminds me of the season I’ve seen it, rather than the subject matter, and Christmas is treated in the same way.

So, as I’ve only four working days left and am just starting to get in the mood, I thought I would post my Top 10 Christmas Films, many of which are as Christmassy as July in Torremolinos.

Take it away, Fluff….

10 The Dirty Dozen

Ridiculous plot only someone with the mind of child brought up on Commando books can love. I love it! “You’ve seen a general inspecting troops before, haven’t you? Just walk slow, act dumb and look stupid!”

First viewed: 26 December 1977

9 The Wizard of Oz

It might have nearly killed most of the cast, but at least none of them were frightened by helicopters or look like they’ve holidayed in Belsen. A genuine film for all the family where everybody can be a friend of Judy. “There’s no place like home!”

First viewed: 25 December 1975

8 Dr Zhivago

Plenty of snow here! David Lean doing what David Lean does best. A bit of a surprise entry, considering my other choices, but it’s a film with quality you can just wallow in. “Strelnikov!”

First viewed: 1 January 1981

7 The Guns Of Navarone

The original ‘men on a mission’ which I replayed the following day with my Action Men and with whatever suitable figures I had to hand thereafter. If you have a few toy soldiers you have the men from Navarone. “Heil, everybody.”

First viewed: 26 December 1977

6 Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines

I watched this cradling a box full of Airfix 1/24 Hurricane! A bit on the long side, but I could watch Terry-Thomas do his thing for hours. “What do y’think y’doing? Frightened the life out the Memsahib!” 

First viewed: 25 December 1974

5 Waterloo

Should be called “Warts an’ All”, but a magnificent spectacle matched only be the battle of the Deetail soldiers in ‘Quincy’s Quest’ 😁. If you are not moved to buy Napoleonics, you have no soul. Or hum La Victoire Est A Nous while you paint them. “What are your plans?” “To beat the French.”

First viewed: 25 December 1976

4 Carry On Up The Khyber

Along with Cleo and Screaming, this was Carry On at its height with brilliant gags and everybody playing to their strengths. It just all ‘works’. Those who sneer at Carry Ons can just “Fakir: off!”

First viewed: 23 December 1977

3 On The Town

I was allowed to stay up late to watch the BBC2 Gene Kelly Season as my dad was a fan and this absolute banger just blew me away. A boisterous rollercoaster, with great songs and stellar cast. “My place!”

First viewed: 23 December 1979

2 Zulu Dawn

I now look at it in the same way as They Died With Their Boots On, but it’s a cracker nonetheless with enough accuracy to make it worthwhile. Kick-started my interest in the Zulu War and has many of the cast of The Wild Geese to boot! Best stiff upper lip scene ever: “Carry them to safety, Mr Melville.” “Sir.”

First viewed: 26 December 1980

1 Lawrence of Arabia

No surprise here! One of, if not the, greatest film ever made. I watch this on the same days every year (it was originally split over two nights). My mum and sister had gone to pick my grandparents up for the holidays and me & dad were left to do bloke stuff. We popped into Staines for some last minute Christmas shopping and I managed to score the brand new Airfix Multipose 8th Army. I made them up whilst watching O’Toole & co doing their thing. I now try to get something equally deserty to make while I’m enjoying my annual film fest. Who needs snow? “No, Dryden. It’s going to be fun.”

First viewed: 22 & 23 December 1975